January 2010
1 post
“At least I’m not a sparkly faggot.”
– My Wife
August 2009
20 posts
“I’m pretty sure the internet knows how to give a blow job.”
– My Wife
“Because I am Captain Capslock!”
– My Wife
“And then there’s a fairy who tells him to knock it the fuck off.”
– My Wife
“All the pubic hair is a dead give away that this site is French.”
– My Wife
“No record should exist except in the mind of the prison warden I turned into a...”
– My Wife
“I need to get paid again so I can feel relatively more secure about buying shit...”
– My Wife
“Women like to thrust around alot.”
– My Wife
“Anal sex is kinda gay.”
– My Wife
“The cat in the top hat is kind of weird.”
– My Wife
“What’s with you and disco tonight?”
– My Wife
“Shit, already? And yet our reign of terror has technically yet to begin, or...”
– My Wife
“Centipedes? On my Sunday night?”
– My Wife
“Wow. You’ve got an obsession for every day of the week!”
– My Wife
Explanations
(My wife had just finished a long, detailed explanation of what the term 'yaoi' means)
Me: So what does 'yuri' mean?
My Wife: 'Yuri' means 'lily' and vagina's look like flowers. The end.
“Yay ninjas! Since they’re Asian, half the work will already be done for...”
– My Wife
“WE SHALL BRING ZAC EFRON’S DOWNFALL IF IT IS THE LAST THING WE DO.”
– My Wife
In Reference to Cooking
(Here we're talking about the various things I can cook)
Me: I know spaghetti, bagels, and smoothies. Not exactly a varied repertoire.
My Wife: You said you could make mashed potatoes. As long as that's true, I don't care who you fuck.
“(In reference to her boobs) They’re basically just pillows with built-in...”
– My Wife
“When I’m bored, I eventually just starting putting things in my mouth.”
– My Wife
Summer Camp!
Me: (holding an orange and talking about the summer camp I work at)
My Wife: Orange.
Me: What?
My Wife: Orange you glad you didn't fuck a loli?
Me: ...